D3 body, D1 cock
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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