maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
