you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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