he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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