toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
