Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
