Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
