Just fell off a train. Bad.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
a search helicopter?!
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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