We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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