i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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