I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
