If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I know her cup size but not her name....
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
