this beer tastes like vomit already
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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