You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize