We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
