Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize