glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
