Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
