yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
