Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
