apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
