i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
