Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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