There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
My liver just had a heart attack.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I FOUND THE LEGS
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
