sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
