Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
