HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He kissed a someone with a penis
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
