The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
