Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
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