You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm just crazy horny about you
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
