Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize