Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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