Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
