just come out here and I will go home with you...
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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