i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
only you would photoshop your dick
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
