maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
