Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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