I never want to see another naked old woman again.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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