Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
