I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
