Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
