You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
no you cant smoke seaweed
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
