i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize