She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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