margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
