We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
