NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
