so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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