I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
