I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
FUCK WHALES
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize