Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Pińatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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