is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
