ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize