but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
