Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
i think we sleep fucked last night...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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