I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
So much Jack, so little girl.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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