And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
