if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
we're so committed to being not committed
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
