I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
